The Isemanburger

It's about time this blog got some MEAT.

I'm always intrigued when a restaurant has a namesake on the menu. It means they're repping it as their best offering, and in the case of a burger, it's the way they think it's best served. The way that has the staying power to anchor that menu, something people tell their friends about, and can keep coming back for for years. I wouldn't say I'm huge into burgers or anything, but a few weeks ago, when I had some friends visiting, they were positively salivating for a burger one afternoon. I scoured around the great selection of kraft restaurants in this restauro-centric neighbourhood I live in, and it turned out, the closest one had a burger on the menu, only one, and it was the item given the honour of carrying the restaurant's namesake. And furthermore, it was the tastiest sounding burger on offer. We went. We ordered 3 of the same. We ate. We collapsed in a pleasure-and-rendered-fat-dazed stupor. I won't tell you what was in it, because I don't want to upstage this post, but I'll share that later that week, I couldn't get the burger out of my mind. I went back, but alas, they are closed on Mondays, so I thought it best to march over to a burger-specific joint. Nice, local, well-fed, ethical meat, done as many ways as one could want to chose from, and they too, had a namesake burger. And as it happened, that was the burger with all the with-all that I most wanted. And it was good. So the week after that, I still couldn't shake this hankering for burgers. I decided to get a few patties at the local organic farmer's market near me, and make a signature burger of my own. This is the way I find myself topping a burger every time I make them. I just don't think there's a better way to serve a burger. So voilà, THE ISEMANBURGER.

So I actually totally know how to make my own burgers. My parents have tried teaching me many practical life skills, cooking, carpentry, outdoorsy things (not all of them stuck), but I do know how to make my own burgers. Nonetheless, I'm realizing I'm not above buying pre-made things, so long as they're thoughtfully made, by someone skilled, in small batches, and of a company or organization I can get behind. I still have a thing or two to learn. Thank you Beretta Family Farms, your burgers are simple, and delicious. This patty is a 6oz Ontario grass fed beef patty, with dried onion and garlic powder, and organic sunflower oil.

For years, even before I went gluten-free, my family has been eating burgers bun-less. My dad makes mini burgers, tiny and tall, and cooks them in a pan. I really should have gone with my instinct to keep it bun-less, but anyway, here're all the toppings and whatnot involved:

1 6oz grass fed organic beef patty
1 bun/gluten-free whatever optional
3 medium-sized shiitake mushrooms
Ramembert (raw sheep's milk Camembert)
horseradish
red onion

garlic

sour nectarine

butter

salt & pepper

So fry-up the burger patty in BUTTER, to medium/medium-rare. (If you're not comfortable eating ground beef that's not well done, it's because you're eating factory-farmed. Buy direct from local farmers, and talk to them!) Throw the onions, mushrooms, and last-minute garlic into the pan to stew-up the flavours. Add fresh-cracked salt and pepper as desired. When you flip the burger for the last time, add the cheese, so it can get all melty. 

Add generous helping of horseradish, add sliced of nectarine for that sweet and sour punch, top with the mushroom and onions. Behold!

I like to be modest, but I gotta say, this was RIDICULOUSLY FUCKING GOOD. The kind that makes you roll your eyes back in your head, and laugh a little. Little-known fact about me, I like to eat standing up, so I actually unconsciously did a little shimmy across the room. I would absolutely be proud to put my name on this, and serve it to friends... and so I did both! Benji concurred. I don't recall exactly what he said, but he compared it to an orgasm. You're welcome.