#18 avocado + brie grilled cheese



I'm gonna take a minute to talk about my hilariously(pitiably) stunted maturity, and my total inability to be in a relationship. And if you don't see what that has to do with sandwiches, just think about what kind of person would have a blog dedicated to their undying love of sandwiches. It's been an on-off relationship that runs longer than any I've had, romantically speaking, with like, a boy-person. I always joke around that I don't really date people, but I will make exceptions when I have to. Sandwiches are simple. People are so... ugh. Dating is complicated.

I haven't really dated anyone in a really long time, and the latest was like, a personal record in how fast it died. We weren't even technically dating, if anyone can illuminate the rest of us on what that word actually means, but you know when you're not really dating someone, but then you're definitely not dating them, because it just kind of disintegrates into no more texting? It's not like it was going anywhere, but I will say, if you laugh at my humour, and when I try to cram my fist in your mouth for no reason, you're probably someone I want to continue hanging out with more. Also, great spooner. But I should have known to just cut it loose when I asked him what his sandwich request would be, and he said avocado and brie. 

Like, ughhh. Worst request ever. Only conjures memories of every fucking brunch bar in this city, and outdated late 2000's indie rock.

So dating is complicated. And I think it gets harder and harder the older we get. By this age, people are either carrying with them a long stretch of disappointments, or know what the REAL DEAL is, and aren't going to have their attention held by less. 

It's easy enough to find people you like, and who like you... it doesn't happen every day, but I've met some fantastic, terrific, A+ people in my time, and had many a giggle fit, or kiss attack with a handsome, bearded, musician man-friend. But who's also in the same place in life, and wants the same things? That's like, a whole other level of complicated that is just asking TOO MUCH. Or is it? Like, all I want is someone who invites me to all the shows he knows we're both going to anyway, thinks I'm the funniest, and smartest person they've ever met, will watch cartoons, and BBC4 series' with me in the morning, and be super grateful to inhale all the food I like making. I guess that would make my best relationship my 2009 rebound with my (former) bestie? Phenomenal beard, mediocre 'adult extracurriculars'. 

Really, all of the ones I somehow wasn't aware I was in some sort of relationship at the time. Or the ones with known expiration dates. Travel relationships. Anyone who insisted on giving himself the unfortunate title of boyfriend was never going to go well. And no matter how much you like eachother, there comes a point when you figure out you just aren't on the same page, and up until now, I haven't really ever learned to make concessions for the sake of my relationships. I'm either horribly emotionally stunted, beyond being capable of loving someone, or I'm just really, really independent. I mean, I think I'm pretty easy to be with? I have no demands other than time and awesomeness. I like fun. I'm a killer dancer when I've had a few, and I make food. Constantly. Other... appetites being directly proportional to what's for 'dinner' (lolz). Then there's always the whole, they just don't like you that much thing that sometimes happens. NOT THAT I'M LOOKING, like I said, I make some exceptions.

So here I am, I've realized this latest notch on the belt just is not going to work out, and I'm horrified when I open the fridge, and all the coherent grilled cheese ingredients I have left are BRIE, and an AVOCADO. But you know what? I managed to make something kick ass out of it. All this classic needed to win me over was the sweet sting of... some sweet, and stinging bonus ingredients. No, not disappointment, and regret, weren't you listening to my story?

bread (Queen St Gluten Free Bakery romano bean bread)
goat brie
manuka honey
chili pepper
Italian parsley
green onion
pear-ginger jam

Chop the peppers really fine. Then mix in with the honey. Manuka honey has a really strong taste to it, which you're going to want to disrupt all that creaminess with the title ingredients.

Pear-ginger jam. It's really nice. Done by an Ontarian cannery, and bought at my fave Toronto deli The Hogtown Cure. Not really a must, just go buy some marmalade, or something mild, but freaky from your nearest farmers' market. My method, is buy whatever makes me do a double take.

The brie! This is made with goat's dairy. It's really creamy, and well, what else is brie for?

Top that all off with a big layer of sliced avocado. Mashing is also always a good strategy, if you want shit to stay in place. Less photogenic though.

Green onions for balance.

And parsley, because parsley is actually the best thing ever with everything, and I sometimes forget that.

Obvs lots of butter, then in the pan!

Hrrrrr's what it looks like all melty and good.

Aaaand, I'm actually going to eat it off a plate today, and pretend I don't live alone, and eat things standing up, off the cutting board.

Go easy on the pepper, unlike me. I mean, the avocado and brie really put out the fire, but you've still got a fire going on all over your mouth. It was really kind of a genius sandwich in the end.

THANKS FOR READING. I'm going to definitely share some more embarrassing things like this in the future. Give me feedback, won't you?

xxxx Emily

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