BROWNIES + CHORIZO + EMMENTAL + SUNDRIED TOMATO

I'm having a little bit of a motivation crisis. I can't focus on work. I can't focus on personal projects. I have a shit ton of free time these days, and I tooootally don't make good use of it. I'm a classic combination of undisciplined, unmotivated, and my life lacks all structure or time management. Even my beloved sandwich blog, which I usually bury myself in in times of chaos or "other" is seeing the neglect I've been affording every other area of my life. As I've kind of alluded to in recent posts, all these sandwiches were shot in my old apartment, which I left 3 months ago now. I haven't shot anything new since, and I'm running out of backlog.

Why does this happen to so many of us? And why am I so prone to fall into this feedback loop of decreasing impetus? I've always found inspiration, and interest to be the strongest motivating forces, so when I find myself wading into the oblivion of blurred together days, I don't wonder too much, "Why the lack of momentum?"

How to balance this though? I feel so much pressure here to be doing, making, earning. It can get very overwhelming, and the artistic overachievers all around me don't seem to help. Toronto is such an ambitious place. It's no New York or London, but it's stressful to find yourself not doing much of anything. Excuse me while I reminisce again about my time in France.

THE MILE END cream cheese + cucumber + cranberry sourdough

Oh man, so I've been thinking about moving to Montreal for ages. Like, years. It's been hanging over my head for so long, especially every time I have to move apartments, and I have to move apartments in 6 weeks. It's not my dream city, but Montreal has a lot going for it. The atmosphere is so much more relaxed, and the apartments are so big, and sunny, and half the price they would be in Toronto. The music scene is definitely decent. I could live in Mile End, and walk up the mountain every week. I could buy wine at the corner store until 11!!! (Toronto peeps, you know how it is). But the main reason is something I learned a few years ago, when I relocated actually way further than a $30 Megabus away, and that is; always keep moving. Every time I make a mental pro and cons list for moving to Montreal, the pro list trumps the con list, no contest. It's not even that I like it better than Toronto, 'cause I don't, but I strongly believe there's more to be gained in being somewhere new, than you could ever lose from the experience. Almost no hardship I could imagine of building a new life somewhere wouldn't be overshadowed with the inherent reward therein. And so, I feel pretty sure I should just fucking do it already, before it becomes something I just talk about, and never do. But for some reason, I don't feel very brave about it at the moment.